Dear Sweet Henry,

You are such an amazing boy and your Daddy and I love you so much!  You are growing every day and your smile and personality lights up the room.  I love taking care of you and spending time with you, you are so much fun.  You are doing some amazing things!

You are into EVERYTHING.  You currently have many ways of getting around which include: army crawling, crawling on hands and knees, cruising and even some steps!  You have perfected the army crawl.  You are so fast and it is so fun to watch you move your arms and legs and little bottom to propel yourself!  You also crawl in the “normal” way about 50% of the time.  You crawl this way when you want to go stand up on something.  You are an expert cruiser.  You cruise along the wall, tables, chairs and even Mommy and Daddy.  You walk behind your lawn mower and push toy and have walked between things like table and couch but are not quite comfortable with having no support in this big world.  When you have stood without support for long enough, you get nervous and go to what you know: the floor.

You are talking all the time and when you get really excited about what you are saying you increase the volume quite a bit.  You say Ma-ma and Da-da a lot and to us.  You say “Amen” after your doll that says a prayer.  We think Sebastian is “da”.  You are communicating with signs.  You are great at the “more” sign and use it pretty much whenever you want something.  You sign “all done” when you want down from your chair.  You wave hello and goodbye, you point when you want something, and you love playing peekaboo.  You love to kneel down and then bounce up and surprise people.  You give high fives, and shake your head no when you don’t want something.

We took you to the zoo earlier in the month and you had a great time and were so good.   It was very hot but you never got upset and you loved seeing all the animals and pointing to them.  You were worn out!  We also got to go to the horse races for Daddy’s work, you had a great time and loved pointing to the tractors and the horses!

You love your toys but some of your favorite things to play with are regular household items like an empty wipe jar or soap pump.  You are very inquisitive and you like to open boxes and put things in them and then take them out.  You will do this for 5-1o minutes.  You are great in the car (although we will see how you do on your trip to Kansas in a few days) and love to go to restaurants and run errands with Mommy and Daddy.  You are tolerating brushing your teeth twice a day but will barely let Mommy get some swipes in.  You still love your bath.  You love to go swimming and have had several swimming parties this summer with friends in your pool.  You feel very comfortable and have even put your head under water!  You actually will leave your hat on in the water and you also did at the zoo.

You are still taking two naps a day.  Mommy keeps thinking that you might move to one but then you go and sleep almost two hours twice a day most days.  You have been waking up early in the morning, though.  You don’t cry, you just play until Mommy or Daddy come to get you at 7 AM.  You are a good eater.  You have whole milk from a cup twice a day; in the morning, first thing and at night before your bath.  You eat applesauce/oatmeal, yogurt and fruit everyday for breakfast and sometimes have eggs or toast.  You like peanut butter sandwiches, grilled chesse, pasta, black beans, cheese, and some type of veggie for lunch.  You really like it best when Daddy brings us lunch and it includes french fries!  You have been the most picky with vegetables.  You will eat a ton of some vegetables and Mommy will get all excited and then you don’t want it anymore . Mommy doesn’t pressure, she just keeps offering.  Sometimes you surprise her and can’t get enough and other times you won’t even try them.  For a snack you have fruit.  You love blueberries, mangos, papaya, bananas, grapes, cantaloupe, watermelon, peaches, pears, apples, and cranberries/raisins.  For dinner you eat whatever Mommy and Daddy are having or we make you fish (tilapia or cod) chicken nuggets and potatoes.  You love water and drink it throughout the day from your cup.  You seem more picky when we go out to eat but you will always eat raisins, cheerios, rice crackers or goldfish if nothing else.

You are with Mommy all day during the week and get very excited when Daddy gets home.  Daddy and you like to wrestle and he chases you or you play cars or go swimming.  Daddy seems to be the most fun.  You do seem to love Mommy, you always give me snuggles and kiss me.  Mommy and Daddy let you watch a little TV, usually on the weekend mornings in our bed.  Your favorite is Thomas but you like Clifford and Dragon Tales too.  You seem interested for 15 minutes or so and then you want to go play.  We like it because you are still and will cuddle with us.

You love to look at books still and are starting to point at pictures correctly when Mommy asks you.  You love cows and the moon and kitties and doggies.  You point to your head really well and your nose and ears sporadically.  You know your feet.  You like to go to the library.  Mommy has taken you a couple of times with Tiana and Daelyn and you seem to have fun.  You like playing with other kids.  You really like going to church and playing with the kids in your class.  Mommy is so proud of you when she drops you off and picks you up and you are happy.  You like to get people’s attention when we are out.  You either wave or yell until they look at you and then you flash your adorable dimples in a huge smile until they melt.  You know how cute you are already.

We are looking forward to our trip to Kansas to see Grandad and Nana and Kansas family soon and Mommy and Daddy are getting away in August for the weekend and Nana is coming to stay with you.  We are going on an airplane (for your second time) to visit Uncle Jake in Colorado.  You had a good time playing with Uncle Nathan on the fourth of July.  We went to Nonni and Poppi’s house this year and you were great.  I look forward to every day with you Henry.  I love you so much, Mommy

So this is what it’s come to? Finding a time to post a blog has been on my to do list, but 3 AM? Seems like I could have found a better time to write.

In just a blink…

• Henry’s first birthday came and went.
• I traveled to Los Angeles for Danny’s 30th Birthday roast.
• Fathers Day.
• Summer started and brought the heat.
• My best friend Dave got married (I owe this event it’s own blog post).

It seems like just a few weeks ago we were coming back from Canada, and I was starring down the barrel of a new job with a gleam in my eye, but also an uncertainty. Now, I am submerged in an ocean of swirling responsibilities and I’m having trouble sleeping.

The job is for all intents and purposes going great. It really is. It’s extremely intense, but there is reward to be had for working hard. God has been present in my job so much so that it’s impossible not to see His provision and blessing. That makes me really excited, but also cautious. I feel like I can’t get too comfortable with the idea that this is the way it is. I don’t want to begin assuming that I’m owed a certain amount each month, or that I’m owed anything at all. I also don’t want to get so consumed by work that my family and friends suffer (more on that in a second). But, for now I am thankful that God has provided me grace and energy enough to accomplish things.

What type of things? Well I have loved every second I get to spend with my wife Rebekah, and my son Henry. Even though I spend less time with them these days because I’m gone from 8 AM to 5 PM, I become absolutely  giddy the moment I walk through the garage door at 5:01 PM. Henry and I play so hard that I’m usually worn out by 6:00 PM. That could also be residual from the long day of work, but who knows. We’ve also been able to limit the amount of time Bekah has to work. We are able to take a nice trip or a weekend getaway when we choose. We’ve been able to pay off all debt excluding the house, and add to our savings. I was extremely pleased that we were able to max out our contribution to Henry’s college fund.

Which by the way, if you are interested in contributing to Henry’s college fund you can donate by clicking HERE and sending funds through Paypal. Or you can click on the DONATE link on the left hand side of the page whenever you’re ready.

I don’t enjoy being tired, and I do miss working from home. But I guess what I miss most is not being as busy, and I don’t see how I’ll not be busy ever again.

Things I wish I had more time for:

1. Quiet time / Time in the scriptures
2. Rebekah and Henry
3. My Mom and Dad and Lindsay and Isaac
4. Working Out
5. Writing and Reading
6. Sleeping (which I should be doing right now)
7. Swimming
8. Yard work / House chores (like changing the batteries in the Smoke Detectors)
9. Talking to my friends
10. Play golf

Taking a vacation even seems a little stressful, though don’t expect me to sacrifice my vacation time for the man. I was so surprised by my wife on Father’s Day. Typically I’m more of the planner as it relates to finances, shopping, vacations, gifts, etc. This year Bekah and Henry spoiled me with a nice breakfast and Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem. That would have been enough for me, but as we were eating Breakfast Bekah “remembered” that she had another gift; a card, that she had somehow forgotten to give to me. Inside the card was a detailed plan of a weekend trip she planned for us in August to a really cool place in Grandbury, TX called Inn On The Lake. Click here to check out where we’ll be staying. I was so surprise that I actually cried. I just didn’t see it coming and it was really nice to be surprised and see how much effort Bekah put into planning it. It was a fantastic Father’s Day. I’m really looking forward to it.

Back to my family and friends…I have really hated not being able to communicate on a regular basis with everyone. I feel like I never have real, deep, meaningful conversations with anyone from my mom/dad to friends like Aaron Nunley, Danny, even Dave. All these out-of-towners that I don’t get to see regularly deserve more than a five minute phone call while I’m in my car in between appointments. Heck, Bekah deserves more communication and we talk everyday. I don’t know how to make that happen, but if you’re reading this and you’re one of those that wishes we talked more just know that I really do too. I know my mom and others don’t always call because they are worried that I am too stressed or too busy, but I love hearing from people. It’s more of a break in the stress and busy-ness than anything else.

I am grateful for things like my small group, where I have made some incredibly great friends and constantly learn from our discussions. I love playing softball on a regular basis, as it allows me to get an athletic and physical release that I otherwise would not get. I loved seeing Dave get married last weekend. I can’t believe he is married. He just looks so happy, and I know the feeling. God has blessed me with a great foundation and home full of love.

3:54 AM - I really have to get back to bed. There are so many more things floating around my head, but I can’t piece them all together at the moment. It’s like at atom bomb has gone off in my head and my brain has been mushroomed.

Glad I was able to find the time to write. Goodnight.

Oops!  I missed the 12 month blog, mostly because we have been so busy!  We had an awesome time celebrating Henry’s 1st birthday with family and friends.  He did great with all the people here, but it was a little overwhelming at times.  We are looking forward to the summer!  Check out our Flickr link for tons of new photos of the pool and birthday time!

Dear Henry,

You are getting to be such a little boy!  You are looking more and more like your Daddy as you lose that baby face!  You are now crawling all over everywhere!  You do not like to get on your hands and knees, you would much rather be on your tummy and do an “army crawl”.  It’s very cute.  You get up on your hands and knees when you want to stand up, which is often and sometimes will get up and take a few steps before going back to your tummy.  It is faster to crawl on your tummy and you can carry things in your hands.  You love to pick a favorite toy and carry it around the house.  You are pulling to stand on everything.  Daddy saw you stand with no hands for a couple seconds the other day and you are getting much better at cruising around the furniture.   You love to get into drawers, cabinets, on top of shelves, the bathtub, toilet, etc. to find all sorts of things to get into.  You have a ton of toys but you really just like to explore the house.  We have had to do some major baby proofing! When you do play, you like to play with your tool bench and hammer, your shovel and pail, and your music center the most.

You love to look at books; you will spend several minutes turning the pages and talking.  We read for almost 20 minutes now before naps and you are very tuned in the whole time.  You like to have music going and are starting to sing along.  You have started standing in bed.  You still are a great sleeper and take 2 really good naps most days.  For a while around 12 months, you were having some difficulty going to sleep without crying.  We decided that as long as you are not wet/dirty, not thirsty, and have the correct temperature in your room, Mommy and Daddy do not need to help you to sleep.  One night of crying seems to have been all we needed, you are right back to talking yourself to sleep most of the time!

You are doing great with eating, although you have been needing some motivation to eat your vegetables.  You really like fish, peanut butter and grilled cheese.  You still love black beans.  You are great when we go out to eat, you never cry to get out of your chair and can be appeased by giving you a spoon or a straw.  You love to see other babies when we are out and you still are a big flirt.  You are in your big boy seat in the car.  We moved it to face forward at 13 months and you have never even fussed since.  You love to be in the car and you are a great traveller.  You weighed 25 pounds at our last doctor’s visit and you are 32 1/2 inches long, which is greater than the 97th percentile!   You are wearing 12 and 18th month clothes.  You like to wear sandals.

You are really enjoying swimming in our pool!  Mommy always lathers you up with sunscreen and you wear a hat and are in your covered floatie.  You like the water!  You went to your first baseball game.  We saw the Cubs play the Rangers.  Daddy got us great seats in the shade.  You were initially scared of the loud noise, but you were very happy watching the game for most of the afternoon!   We had so much fun.  You have enjoyed getting to see Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Isaac more since they moved here.  You really enjoyed seeing Uncle Isaac in his police uniform.  You got your own junior badge sticker when we went to his station !  You also are having fun playing with your friend, Daelyn.  She is walking already, but you keep up with her pretty well with your army crawl.

You also really enjoy going to your church class.  When you were smaller you always cried when we left you, but for about 2 1/2 months now, you have done great and last week, couldn’t wait to get out of my arms to go play.

You love to drink out of a straw and you are really good at it.  You are saying “ha” for “hi” and waving.  You say “da-da” all the time and “ma-ma” sometimes.  You are signing “more” and “all done”.  You love to chase Sebastian around the house and you wave at him all the time.  You love to play with cords and will drag cords around the house with you.  One of Mommy’s favorite times of the day is the early morning when I get you out of bed and you drink your cup of milk and we snuggle in Mommy and Daddy’s bed.   You are such a sweetheart.  I am so loving being your Mommy and watching you grow.  You have such a sense of adventure and curiosity already.  I cannot wait for this next month.  I praise Jesus for you daily and pray that you will come to know Him soon.

I love you,

Mommy

Dear Henry,

I can not believe you are 11 months old.  Where has the time gone?  I recently looked over the pictures of you when we brought you home and I cried seeing how small you once were.  It seems like just yesterday I had to hold your head so it would not flop over, I got up every two hours to feed you, I was scared because I did not know how to make you stop crying, and you relied on me for your every need.  I remember trying to give you plenty of time on your tummy so you could lift your head, putting things in front of your face so you could track them with your eyes, talking, singing and reading to you even when you barely seemed to notice.  Now, you are so aware of your world.  You interact with everything and everyone.  I love coming into your room in the morning and after your naps, you always look up at me and smile, you cannot wait for me to hold you.  I love seeing you wait for Daddy to come home, you get so excited when you hear the garage door open and you get the biggest smile when you see him.  I love how you respond to people in public.  Everyone thinks you are so cute (you are, by the way), and it is so fun to watch you study them pensively and then break out in a giant grin.  I love hearing your laugh.  You have the most infectious and joy-enducing giggle and you are a very happy baby.  I love seeing you play and explore the world by yourself. Daddy and I love to just watch you while you are in your room.  You are so interested in how things work, you put things in and out of a shelf, move cars back and forth, push buttons and bang things together.  I love watching you study something.  You get a very serious look on your face and breath really hard, it is so cute.  I love watching you eat and explore all kinds of foods.

You are a very adventurous eater and you try and like most everything I give you.  A typical food day for you is like this: 6 oz bottle in the morning, then fruit, either peaches with raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and blackberries, or apples, pears and bananas.  Then I give you pureed fruit (usually applesauce) with rice or mixed grain cereal. Then I give you 2 oz of yogurt, you like blueberry, pear, peach and strawberry.  You are taking a good morning nap and then you eat lunch at 11:30.  You usually have green veggies; lima beans, green beans, peas, or avacado with carrots and black beans, you love black beans.  You then have a pureed meat or low sodium, nitrate free turkey and large curd cottage cheese.  You drink 4 oz of milk/formula from a cup.  You play or we run errands and then you take a good afternoon nap.  You get up at 4 and eat again.  You have chicken cubes and veggies, usually squash or sweet potatoes, a cheese stick and 4 more oz of milk from a cup.  You play with me, or Daddy if I have to work, and then have a snack; fruit cheerios or whole grain english muffin.  You drink water from a cup all day.  You have a 6 oz bottle after your  bath and before bed and then sleep from 745 PM to 7 AM.  It is very fun to take you out to eat, you are usually very good as long as you have something to munch on!

You are starting to crawl to wherever I am and you are starting to pull yourself to standing.  You need some help, but I am sure you will be doing it on your own very shortly.  You have 5 teeth right now and the 6th is coming in!  You will have 4 on top and 2 on bottom very soon.  You have hardly been fussy with these last two teeth!  You sometimes bite my shoulder when I am holding you.  You love to snuggle both me and Daddy.  We love it.  You have the most kissable cheeks and I kiss them at least 100 times per day.   You love to go on walks and usually talk the whole time we are walking.  You love to read books.  You always turn the pages when Mommy and Daddy are done reading a page.  You love it when Mommy sings “Old MacDonald”, you will stop fussing whenever I start.  You like to go on errands and you are very good in the car.  You went on your first bike ride with Mommy and Daddy recently and you looked so cute in your helmet!

You are saying mmmma-mmmma and da-da-da-da a lot but you have never really said it directly to either of us.  You are waving and it is so cute to see your little arm and hand move.  You get so excited and proud of yourself and usually end up clapping wildly!  You are so vocal when you are in your bed before you go to sleep and when you wake.  We had to move your camera in your room because you started pulling the cord and almost pulled the camera down!  Mommy could not hear you or see you, sneaky boy!

You like to see other children and usually smile and want to touch them when they get close.  You love watching Sebastian, your fuzzy brother, and like to pull his fur and his tail.  I think he likes you too, because he lets you do it.  You like to look at yourself in the mirror, it’s cute to see you smile at yourself.  You like to brush your teeth, you get the biggest grin when you hold your toothbrush.  Everyone says you look just like your Daddy.  Everywhere we go if Daddy is with us strangers will comment.  Even if he is not with us, if someone knows Daddy and they see you, they comment.  Mommy loves it and she agrees, you two are like two peas in a pod.  You and Daddy have very fun adventures when Mommy is at work.  I cherish the time I get to spend with you, everyday is a gift, you are amazing.  I thank Jesus for you all the time and pray constantly throughout the day that I will be the best Mommy to you because you deserve nothing less. I also pray that Jesus will call you to himself at an early age and that Daddy and I will be a good representiative of Christ to you.

I cannot wait for the next weeks and months.  I know we have so much to look forward to.  I love you so much Henry James.  You are such a source of pure joy in my life and I cherish each moment and day I get to spend with you.  I want to remember all the moments in each stage and pray that God allows my mind to hold onto each precious moment we share.

I love you,

Mommy

I love my Father. It’s on dreary days such as this that I feel like talking with him most. On sunny days it’s so easy to forget what I’ve been through. Sunny days run together. It’s the days like today, when I’m forced to slow down, that I look outside at the rainy cold and I really let myself imagine what life without my Father would be like.

I would be nothing without him.

I should be able to, but I can’t remember when I first knew he was my Father. Whenever it was, it has been the most pivotal moment in my entire life. Of course he was my father before I even realized he was. He’s always protected me. He’s always loved me. He’s known all of my features and characteristics longer than anyone else. He’s laughed at me and he’s laughed with me.

Now that I’m a dad I understand what it means to be a father of a child you love so much that everything hurts, even the good stuff.  I ache for my son even when he’s as happy as he could be. I know what lies ahead. I know that love, joy, sorrow, heartbreak, peace, prosperity, loneliness, and despair are all in his path; If for no other reason then he know how to differentiate between each of those feelings. He will fall and rise up. He will be attacked and he will be tempted. He will sin.

When I look back at my own life it’s easy to see the sins I committed. I know that they are forgiven, but they are still there - like a tiny hole in the wall where a push pin once was. I made those choices and I can still remember making them. I can remember the raging war inside of me each time I chose to disregard my Father’s words of wisdom or of caution.

How I wish I could go back and change the past, and tell my younger self to listen to his Father. I know my son will wish that someday too.

What I appreciate most about my Father’s influence on my life, is that it has always been with one hand to guide me and one hand to pick me up whenever I fall. He’s never led me with a strong arm. He’s never pushed me or pulled me away from anything. He’s simply held his arm out and pointed me towards The Way, but I still don’t always heed that guidance. There are times I duck under his arm and go in a different direction. I always pay the price, and I always come back to my Father no matter how far I’ve wandered.

The difficulty of having children is most evident in what the parent cannot do for them. I never appreciated that about my own dad until I had a son. I am so thankful that he recognized early on that he would never be enough. My dad knew I needed something more; someone bigger and stronger than he would ever be. I need my Father’s strength because I am weak. I need my Father’s bigness because of my smallness. My dad needs a Father too, and so does my son.

I pray often that I will know how to deflect my son’s desire to look to me for all the answers. I’m just a man, and he will need to know that as soon as he can understand it. His hope is mine and my dad’s - that we are saved by God the Father’s grace and love.

What a love it is.